THIS PAGE
TO A FRIEND
If I were mayor of Detroit
Thursday May 01, 2008
By Ellis Washington
Show me a monopoly (liberalism) and I'll
show you a tyranny (Detroit).~ Ellis Washington
Many of the policy assumptions in this column are presently untenable in Detroit (and America) but could easily become workable once "We the People" regain control of all our courts and force judges (and politicians) at the threat of the Treason Clause to follow faithfully the original intent of the Constitution's Framers according to Aricle 2, Section 4 of the U.S. Constitution – "The President, Vice President and all Civil Officers [=Judges & Congress] of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other High Crimes and Misdemeanors."
My column last weekend, "What I'd do as president," received more responses than any other column I've written to date. In that piece, I believe I struck a poignant chord with the American people, as well as with people as far away as Brazil, China, Israel, Africa, Australia and other lands. Therefore, I will continue this theme and apply it to Detroit, the city of my birth.
What would I do if I were mayor of Detroit?
The stage would contain five figures in effigy sitting in five chairs. These five symbols of Detroit would have the following names and background:
- Jowakka Jones, age 39, a grandmother of four with eight children by five different men, uneducated, with a bad attitude because her welfare payments aren't enough for her needs and are sometimes "late."
- Tyrone "Tupac" Tipton, age 19, Jowakka's son, a senior at Cooley High School, a gangbanger, a drug dealer with a spotty class attendance record, a poor employment record, a promising criminal record and a bad attitude because "mah baby mama's always sweatn' me for some child support."
- Jose Jesus Rodriguez, age 55, a resident of the Southwest side of Detroit ("Mexican Town") who took an early buyout from Ford Motor Company after 30 years on the assembly line and as a union steward. He and his wife, Rosia, have been married 35 years and have 10 children.
- Shawniqua Thompson, age 11, a fifth-grader and a daughter of Jowakka Jones, stepsister to Tyrone Tupac Tipton.
- KKK or King Kwame Kilpatrick, age 37, mayor of Detroit since 2002, member of the liberal Democrat machine that has ruled over Detroit politics since before FDR.
With the stage now set, the lights are dimmed. As I speak to the five effigy figures sitting forlornly on their chairs, a spotlight is shone upon each of them.
Inaugural Address by Detroit Mayor Ellis Washington
Ladies and gentlemen of the city of Detroit, before I deliver my brief remarks, please allow me to share with you four little words. The words are taken from Justice Clarence Thomas's grandfather, whom he called "Daddy." Daddy's tough love helped raised Justice Clarence Thomas to become the sterling example of humanity we have today, therefore … "THE DAMN PARTY'S OVER!"
For over 40 years, since the 1967 riots, you and your forefathers have turned a once magnificent city that 100 years ago was called, "The Paris of America" and 65 years ago was called, "the arsenal of democracy," into America's largest ghetto.
This madness ends here. This day is the real May Day celebration – May 1, 2008.
Effigy No. 1, Jowakka Jones – Now, Ms. Jones, you don't know me and I don't know you. I speak to you not as a real person, but as a symbol representing tens of thousands of your fellow sistergirls in the city of Detroit. You have four issues that I will identify for our audience: promiscuity, ignorance, crime and laziness.
Jowakka, beginning this day, We the People of the city of Detroit will no longer be obligated to pay for your subsidized housing, your cable TV, your welfare, your cigarettes, alcohol or crack, your "baby daddy's gambling money," nor for Medicare, food stamps, your GED, Tupac's bail money, or your grandchildren's "Head Start" and lunch programs. Jowakka Jones, I advise you to get a job.
I will agree with you (and your ACLU attorney) that while you do have a constitutional right to be a lazy, promiscuous, ignorant woman to three generations of people, nevertheless, you will no longer pimp We the People and make us pay for your worthless lifestyle. To quote a famous Supreme Court Justice, Oliver Wendell Holmes: "Three generations of imbeciles are enough." The damn party's over!
Effigy No. 2, Tyrone "Tupac" Tipton – Mr. Tupac, you are 19 years old now. How long will you be in the public schools? I've viewed your attendance records. You have already missed more days than you have been present, which prohibits you from graduating.
Why, then, does your name appear on the attendance rolls? So your corrupt governor, your naive superintendent, your cowardly principal and your incompetent teachers union can all collect your annual price, $7,557. Tupac, since you love to be a gangbanger and a "ladies man," you will be assigned to cleaning gang graffiti off the walls all over the city and you will pay child support to all of your "baby mama's children."
Effigy No. 3, Jose Jesus Rodriguez – Mr. Rodriguez, why should We the People, the taxpayers of Detroit, pay for you not to work at age 55? Social Security is found nowhere in the U.S. Constitution. On the contrary, the Constitution's Framers bled and died fighting against the naked tyranny of England's King George III to oppose what they called "taxation without representation."
If you want money for education, vacations, health care, food or your "retirement," I strongly suggest that you (and Rosia) find another job or create your own business and begin saving your own money for your own retirement as the Constitution's Framers intended. As of this day, May 1, 2008, "retirement" in city of Detroit will only occur when your body is deposited in the grave. The damn party's over!
Effigy No. 4, Shawniqua Thompson – age 11. Shawniqua, I have you on this stage as a prevention, an intervention, if you will. You already heard the example not to follow (Effigy No. 1). My advice to you: Leave the little boys alone! You will have plenty of time for love when you get married. Instead, go to the library every day after school to do your homework.
During the summer, go to academic camps so your mind and body won't be idle. Personal discipline, church and what Theodore Roosevelt called "The Strenuous Life" will do more for you, dear Shawniqua, than 1,000 welfare checks could ever accomplish.
I'm not asking you what you thought about what I just said, I'm being the father you never had and I'm telling you … Shawniqua, the damn party's over!
Effigy No. 5, KKK or King Kwame Kilpatrick – Mayor Kilpatrick, I apologize for the handcuffs, but immediately after my inauguration speech these nice gentlemen to my right with the dark blue jackets and sunglasses will escort you to your new mansion – federal prison. If you want some strippers, I suggest that you work out those details with your new cellmates – Bubba, Bust a' Cap and Khoas. They love to party.
Because of your slavish allegiance to liberalism and the diabolical polices of FDR, LBJ, Clinton and Obama, rather than truth, you and your predecessors, mayors Coleman Young and Dennis Archer, have betrayed your own people and the Constitution by ruining this great city, using it for your own personal ATM bank card. The damn party's over!
As the assembled citizens, dignitaries and potentates looked at each other in puzzled amazement, I would quietly slip out the back door, drive myself to my office and begin implementing my reform policies collectively called, "Operation Kick-A--."
And that is what I would do if I were mayor of Detroit.
Ellis Washington, former editor at The Michigan Law Review and law clerk at The Rutherford Institute, is a graduate of John Marshall Law School and a lecturer and freelance writer on constitutional law, legal history, political philosophy and critical race theory. He has written over a dozen law review articles and several books, including "The Inseparability of Law and Morality:
The Constitution, Natural Law and the Rule of Law" (2002), "Beyond the Veil:
Essays in the Dialectical Style of Socrates" and He has just completed the manuscript to his latest book, "The Nuremberg Trials: Last Tragedy of the Holocaust" (2007).
Washington's latest book, "The Nuremberg Trials: Last Tragedy of the Holocaust," can be pre-ordered by calling 800-462-6420, promotion code "UPREPUB."
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