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Where Illegal Ain't!Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Satire By John Lillpop
United States Attorney Christopher Christie, New Jersey's top federal prosecutor, is rumored to be interested in running for governor of that state in the near future.
Christie's personal political aspirations may help explain his insane pandering to the Latino Leadership Alliance of New Jersey in which he assured the assembled crowd that living in the United States illegally is not illegal.
Say what?
Yes, you heard correctly. Illegal ain't illegal, at least in the opinion of one demented and politically ambitious federal prosecutor.
This out of touch prosecutor, who is obviously a RINO and quite possibly a closeted Democrat, was trolling for Hispanic votes when he said, “Don’t let people make you believe that that’s a crime that the U.S. Attorney’s office should be doing something about. It’s not.”
Judicialwatch: U.S. Atty. Says Undocumented Immigrants Not Illegal
Christie expanded his remarks with even more good news for Latinos: It is not a crime to cross US borders illegally, to engage in ID theft and forgery so as to secure employment and credit, or to steal public services to which illegals are not entitled.
Appointed by President George W. Bush in 2001, Christie offered several other mindless views:
* Driving 100 mph without seat belts is not a crime, as so ably demonstrated by the current New Jersey Governor, Jon Corzine;
*Evading income taxes is not a crime, because tax rates are much too high:
*Murder and rape may not be crimes provided one hires a tough minded lawyer who specializes in jury tampering and subornation of justice as defense tactics.
All in all, Christie emphasized that while the law may be a bitch in other states, in New Jersey it is more of a cafeteria plan. Latinos are free to pick and choose the laws they agree with and which are convenient to follow.
On the other hand, Latinos are perfectly justified in ignoring federal, state, and local laws that exist only to harass brown people and which are otherwise a pain in the ass. Examples include laws that make it a crime to drive while intoxicated, or for illegal aliens to vote in U.S. elections.
Christie believes that such statutes fail to recognize important Latino customs and culture and, as such, are unconstitutional and unnecessary, especially when one is running for governor.
Christie's goofy pandering unearthed another vital truth: In New Jersey, being a stupid federal prosecutor is not a crime !
John W. Lillpop is a recovering liberal, "clean and sober" since 1992 when last he voted for a Democrat. Pray for John: He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where people like Nancy Pelosi are actually considered normal!
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